I will not be tanning with this mommy

Generally come awakening from hibernation...I mean spring, I’m as white as a ghost.  You would think after years of working at the Renaissance festival I would be a hint or two shades darker but no.  At fest, For the most part,  I’m covered aside from my face from my nose down and a “V” where the collar of my shirt is. I mean I cut grass at night so that I can conserve electricity by leaving the outside lights off and letting the moon reflect off my arms to guide my path.  For many years I secretly harbored a Jealousy over people with those perfect tans.  That was until I scrolled across this recently.

somewhere Ed Gein is drooling

Good lord what is that?!?!?  This woman made the headlines recently when her 5 year old daughter said, at school, she went tanning with her mom.  She has garnered her 15 minutes and counting of fame by saying that her daughters statement was misinterpreted. That she was present at the tanning place but wasn’t in the tanning bed blah blah blah…..great whatever hopefully that gets solved and figured out justice taken care of as it comes to it.  In the meantime….is this woman going to get any help?  In the article she is quoted as saying “I tan, she doesn’t tan”…… Lady you’re way beyond tan, I have leather hide that is probably softer and healthier than you are. 

Seriously…she’s 44 and looks like she’s putting on “Black face.” It reminds me of a production Of Mice and Men I did where they didn’t have a single African American male audition and one of the gentlemen had to wear dark makeup to play “Crooks.”  I can’t help but picturing the healthy face infomercial or whatever where they show the effects of the sun on your face and this cream is supposed to help that or something.  I’m pretty certain this woman would blow up the machine or it would read as an error if she tried to get a scan. My only hope is that she gets some help on this, as I’m guessing it’s a psychological issue or addiction.  Until then I’ll be wearing long sleeves and keeping this in mind next time I look at someone’s tan and feel a bit of jealousy.